Why do people run marathons ?

On 29th September, Shimla is going to host a marathon. I am pretty excited about it and this excitement is easily seen in my disucssions with my friends.

In one of these discussions my friend asks me a few questions.

"Mujhe to samjh ni aata marathon bhagte kyun hai?
Na to wo koi race hai...sala teen ghante tak bhaagte raho.
Aisi race ka kya fayda jisme pukka harna hi hai.
Jeetenge to wo Kenya wale hi."

I couldn't answer him than but let me try and answer him now....

From the time i have got hold of my senses and till date i can see  a ridiculous obsession with being the "Best".
So lets start in the chronological order...

• Mother to Kid :"Mera bacha... jaldi jaldi finish karo...first aana hai...(She wants the kid to eat fast.)
• Father to son : "Is baar agar top kiya to cycle milegi."
• Any Parent trying to motivate his kid : "Beta Gaurav se seekho kuch...har baar top karta hai." 
• A Child trying to justify his low scores : "Papa mere 32/50 marks hain...par Gaurav ke bhi 39 hi hain. Is baar strict thi marking bahut"

As you can see from the above examples...the obsession is with being the "Best".
However in order to be the Best you have to find someone who will be second best to you.

So if you want to be the best student in the class you have to find out the present best student in the class.

This approach produces a false impression of having achieved everything that there was to achieve.
Going for the best is a limiting approach as you become contended once you are No 1.

The Best Syndrome was so much hardwired into my systems that i could not enjoy the brilliance of any performer individually.

If Sachin scores a 100 hundreds it was difficult to enjoy Sachin's artistry in isolation.
I'll be satisified only if someone says he is the best and he is better than Lara or Sir Bradman.
 
Approaching "Best" is limiting...."Better" has no limits.
Trying to Achieve "Best" is daunting and intimidating to start with any effort....Better is doable.
"Best" approach tries to impress..."Better" Approach enjoys .

So how do you get this Hardwired "best" approach out of your systems?

Simple...run a marathon. :)

Before i ran a marathon ...I was asked to run races whose end point was visible.(100 mtrs,200mtrs,doing homework,coming first in class.)

So when the end point is visible it becomes hard to enjoy the process.
Or i should say when the end point is visible..i don't feel the need to enjoy the process.

As the destination is visible,i can afford to reach the destination with/without enjoying the race.

All my focus is on the competitors...if someone goes ahead i'll put in a better effort...once i am ahead.... i'll try to maintain the lead and once i am sure of winning i'll relax and not put in my best effort.

I may win with a time that was worse than my best performance till now...and still feel happy about being the best athlete.


With marathon this is different...

As the distance is huge...my small small bursts of brilliance won't do.
As the distance is a monster..i won't even be able to complete it... if i have not practiced for it.

...that's when i have to enjoy each and every step..i just can't afford to be focused on the destination...destination is way way far ahead and getting obsessed with destination makes the situation worse.

I have no choice but to enjoy the journey.

Completing the marathon becomes a challange for 99% of the participants.
You feel those legs aching...breath going haywire...lips drying...heart pounding...but you have to go on as your sole motive is to complete the race.

and that's when you are fighting/challenging yourself.

Once you complete the race you have no clue who won the race..who lost the race...you feel like a champion as you have outlasted yourself.

You start appreciating the people who completed it faster than you...you start respecting people who completed it slower than you.

.....and that's when the "Best" syndrome is knocked out of your systems.

....and once the "Best" syndrome is knocked out of your system.
You'll see magic happening. :)

PS: If you also feel bugged with the "BEST" Virus. Please run a marathon.

Symptoms Of Best Virus:
1) Craving for "Best Employee Awards".
2) Feeling like a King if you are enjoying the highest CTC amongst your batch mates.
3) You are 80kgs at a height of 5' 7'' but feel happy as you are the fittest in a team where average weight is 120 kgs.

 :)

Choices

If someone was to plot a graph showing the relation between the Activity on your Facebook wall and the events in your life.

I am sure to find some seriously abnormal peaks on my Birthday ... Diwali  also brings a lot of activity along with it and so does a New Year.
(This graph would be similar for SMSs recieved on my cell)

Recently me and my wife celebrated one such event of our lives...and that was our first wedding anniversary.
and as expected my facebook wall starting brimming with wishes .

but there was something unusal about these wishes....they were lesser in comparison to the other events of my life.

No matter how less they were.....I was really really feeling happy for each and every wish i recieved. ...i wanted these wishes to continue.

Not that i don't feel happy when someone wishes me on my b'day or on a diwali or on independence day.
but this was comparitively more deeper...more profound..... more heartfelt.

I could make out this difference and immediately my mind went into analysis mode.
Alrite what was different with my wedding anniversary and the other events of my life.

One thing that was strikingly different for me ...was that my wedding anniversary was a outcome of my efforts.

It was my choice...the day existed because of my efforts and that was what made it more special to me.

It is not true for my bday...may be my parents would feel that happiness but not me.
I think i try to feel happy on my bday as i am supposed to feel happy on my b'day.

Same goes for Diwali....may be God Rama would be happy for all his efforts...but the wishes that i receive on Diwali are i think...more of a expected societal norm rather than a heartfelt wish.

For me Diwali is more of a metaphor and less of  it's historical meaning...and that metaphor holds true through out the year....through every moment and not just one day of the year.

So what's the point i am getting to.

I think the satisfaction that comes after you have made a choice is huge in comparison to something that you have not chosen.

My choices define me..they are a few things that i stood for someday.

Ok let me just summarize a few things that i have chosen and a few that i haven't.

Chosen Few

1. My Life partner.
2. My hobbies.
3. Respecting/Disrespecting Ideas.

Not chosen

1.   My B'day
2.   My name
3.   My gender
4.   My Family
5.   My caste
6.   My country
7.   My language
8.   Respecting Elders/Gods/Country/Religion.
9.   My religion
10.   My festivals
11.   My Places of worship.
12.   The Gods i worship.
13.   The Way i am treated after my death

hmmm.... the items in the  "not chosen " list are way too much than in the chosen list.
but the intensity or the attachment that we are supposed to show towards the items in the second list is huge in comparison to the first list.

Going against anything in the second list is nothing short of blasphemy
and
going in favour of any thing in the first list is more than blasphemy.

This is really confusing ....my personality is a function of very few choices and a lot of non choices.
but  it was my choice that made me happy.

My choices say a lot more about me than do the other non chosen attributes.

So i think ...the focus from here on has to be on the behavior that comes from my choices and not on the behavior that is expected out of me because of the second list.

Running Within

Have you been thinking of running for sometime but are not able to enjoy it.

Following may be the reasons :-
1)Too tiring and too much of an hassle early morning.
2)Too boring..while running you suddenly feel like ..."why the hell i am doing it."
3)Can't see the results. Chances are you might have started for losing that extra fat on your waist.
It's been a week but the flab just doesn't seem to budge.

If you want to start/restart running ...i'll give a you a few tips that might help you...enjoying the run.

Here we go...

1)I started running around a year back...and my iPod was my best friend.It used to help me run long distances as i used to be so engrossed in the music that long distances just didn't occur to me. I see a lot of people doing that. However if you want to really feel the joy of running just throw away your iPods...earphones. Just run.

Music actually distracts you from the activity you are doing.
While you are running, just run. nothing else.

When the music is not there...you'll hear you heartbeat...you'll hear the breath...you'll fell the pain in the calfs. You'll hear your body. That's when you'll come to know how your body reacts at a particular distance.  

So TIP 1 : While you are running. Just run. 

2)Another thing that we are obsessed with is distances and timings. You'll find a lot of updates on my facebook wall also. This is a destination focused approach...and running is 99.999% about the process than about the destination. And as usual destination focused approach always overpowers the joy of process.

Instead of measuring the kilometers may be count the breaths you took.
This has two benefits..first you become a part of the process and second you are in the very moment of that breath.

So TIP 2 : A good runner enjoys each and every step of the run.

3) Another thing to note while running is that it's not just the legs that you need for good running.
A good runner..engages his whole body while running.

He uses the legs to push himself forward.
Torso has to be stable ..so it's like legs are moving and they are attached to a super stable torso.
Arms go back and forth ...bent at 90 degrees..perfectly in sync with the opposite leg.
Head is held stable with your vision fixated at a distance.

Don't look to the ground while running...look ahead.
To maintain a good rhythm...breath is a very good tool.
Breathe in the 2-2 pattern..for the two steps...inhale...for the next two exhale.

At last,use your mind to keep all of these in sync and functional.
so it's like a physical meditation kind of exercise.

TIP 3 : A good runner runs with his body..not just his legs.

SO 3 tips to start with.
I'll keep adding ...as i find new ones.

The more i run the more i feel myself  drawn to it.
It's not at all a physical activity alone...If you keep doing it for some time.

You'll find it engaging you scientifically,physically,psychologically and at a higher level even spiritually as well.

If someone feels like running anyday..do message me your number on FB.
A pep talk is always ready to get you started.

Or may be call me at 9958896184..i usually hit the road at 5:30 in the morning.

Happy Running :)

Pre Paid Taxi

Last four days were as eventful as they can get.
Covered a distance of around 2200 kms  attended the marriage of two of my best friends.

As it is common with any kind of journey..it always leaves you with memories.
This one was no exception...

We landed at Jammu airport at 9:40 on the morning.
After collecting our baggage we were waiting for our friends ,who were about to reach in the next plane...

In this process...we took some 10-15 minutes...and by then a pretty long Queue came up at the Pre Paid Taxi counter.

I was standing behind some 10-15 guys in the queue.
For some reason  the queue wasn't moving for some time....

It might be because of a confused tourist who doesn't know as to where he should take a taxi.
or it might be because of the guy at the Taxi counter does not have the change to payback to the guy.

Whatever it was ...after 2-3 minutes i checked my positon in the queue.
I was still the last....

This made me feel a bit uneasy...

Why was i still the last man...i glanced at Shagun and the two friends.
I feared they might even ask...why are you still in the last position in the queue.

After 3-4 minutes a group came and enhanced the queue a bit more.
Now as i was not the last person in the queue...i felt relieved.

I couldn't believe the way i was reacting...
The people who were after me in the queue had no impact on my reaching the Taxi counter...

but..
Somehow their absence made me insecure...
and their presence made me feel better.

While in the queue...i could make up my mood swings and tried to analyse the mood swings.

This might sound a trivial occurence...
but after a bit of analysis...i found my behavior shocking.

If the people in front or the people behind in queue could decide my happiness/sadness.
It could well be happening in the day to day events as well.

The people were in front because they did something different which got them in front.
The people behind did not do something that i did and that got me ahead of them.

but whatever it was...my TAXI-BOARDING-TIME remained a absolute function of my actions...and not anybody else's.

So when ...TAXI-BOARDING is the motive...and TAXI-BOARDING-TIME is an absolute function of my position in the queue.

Why was my happiness RELATIVE to my Position in the Queue??

Moroneity

Have you ever been in a situation where you did something so embarrassing that you felt like disapperaing from the scene.

I mean just after committing the act you realize that you have committed a blunder. 

I  was the protagonist in three such acts-of-blunder....

Alright... the first act was performed at the IGI Airport.

Me and my wife were about to leave for Thailand just after our marriage.

Nervous...i was..as this was my first international trip .

Same was for my wife...she was looking up to me for taking her safely to Thailand.

I couldn't have afforded to not look in control of things.

I was repeatedly getting confused with the placement of the 

passport, tickets, hotel vouchers, foreign sims, foreign currency etc etc.

I got into the check in line...the girl was checking in the baggages.

I was looking at the travellers ahead of me to somewhat learn the check in process...i didn't want to look out of clue when my turn came.

After learning from a few travellers ahead of me..it was my turn.

The girl at the counter gave a very sweet smile and extended her hand for the passports.

I saw the extended hand and shook it  gleefully . :|

She was proffessional enough to not look perturbed...and very calmly asked me for the passports.

...her smile made pretty good mockery of me.

I tried maintaining my poise...and gave a very nervous smile to Shagun as if i was still in control.

She made a  puzzled inquiring gesture towards me...asserting i was not at all in control.

I so wished i could have vanished from the scene. :)

Second story....is of this saturday.

We were enjoying the delicious paranthas made by our Maid.

The door bell rings. 

I get up to check who was there.

The door bell rings again.

I open the door to see a lady in her late 20s with a small child.

She is scolding her boy "Beta dusron ke ghar me do baar bell nahi bajate".

This is the conversation that took place between me and the lady

Lady Smiles and says "Hi"

I Smile and say "Hello"

Lady Smiles again and says "Sunita"

I smile even wider and say "Gaurav"

Lady doesn't smile this time and says "No...i mean is Sunita there?"

I blush....as i was introducing myself to someone who was only interested in our Maid Sunita.

In all that embarrasment i facilitate the meeting of Sunita and the lady.

To complete this blog i was looking for a third story for some days.

I remembered one today...and this one is back from my childhood.

Our dada ji used to live with us...

Every night my mother used to give me a glass of milk which i had to go and deliver to dada ji.

Dada ji was living in a separate flat so it took a minute or so...from my place to Dada Ji's place.

After ringing the bell Dada ji used to take 30-40 secs to open the door.

That particular day...i got a whim .

I am standing outside the door...with the glass of milk in my hand.

I ring the bell.

Suddenely i say to myself 

"If i am not able to take 10 sips of milk before Dada ji opens the door...i will score less than 85%  in my 10th boards."

So the whim had set in...and the 40 seconds had started.

I had to take a sip almost every 3 secs.

I had kept 4-5 seconds to regain my composure.

So there i was sipping away like crazy and hoping to make the 10 sips before he opens the door.

In all this frenzy i couldn't see that he was peeping through the curtain.

I mean he saw all my 10 sips.

After  i had secured my 85% target and had regained my compsure....he opens the door.

I offer him the milk...but he refuses.

He gives me a look that was full of pity...

Dada ji with a consoling touch on my shoulder "Pee le poota tu hi". 

(Please Son...you only have it.)

:D

siR Ji

i ThiNk iT was 2008..Pragati MaiDan....Delhi Book faiR.
i Had  recently developed  a penchance for readiNg books.
i Was not iNto some partiCular genre but yes biOgraphies used to fasciNate me.

iT was on a random stroll iN the book stalls when i Saw a book tiTled...iCon.
i Knew a biT about iPod and iPhone...iCon seemed as catchy as iT's other iSiBliNgs.

i Bought the book and that was how i Met STEVE JOBS for the fiRst tiMe.
i Read each and every book publiShed on Steve Jobs after that.
The love affaiR kept blossomiNg.

ThiS blog iS not what i Read about Steve Jobs...as that would be liKe  "StatiNg the already known" .
ThiS blog iS about why i Felt shattered when Steve Jobs left us on 5th October?

These are the three maiN reasons for me feeliNg that way

1)He made me look Smarter.
ReadiNg about Jobs always gave me storiEs. StoriEs that made me feel liKe a STAR whenever i Narrated them to my friEnds. i Felt smarter just because of knowiNg those storiEs. i Loved to see the awestruck people who were amazed by the unusual ness of these storiEs.

People feel great/cool/proud when they have a huge fan base....but wiTh Steve Jobs iT was kiNd of reverse.
People felt great/cool/proud just because they were a fan of Steve Jobs.
On hiS death...everyone wanted to prove that he iS the biggest fan of Steve...and so did i.
SiR Ji ....i Was and i Am your biGgest fan.

2)He made me do weiRd thiNgs.
iN hiS Stanford speech he asked all of us to follow our hearts.
He made me do thiNgs which often had no ratiOnale...but i Did iT because SiR Ji Had assured me that the dots do connect.

He made me do a extensiVe cycle trek of 60 kms iN the hiLls ... just two days before my marriAge.
He made me go iN search of a musiC shop at 10 iN the niGht just because i Felt i Needed to play that song on HarmoniCa.
He made me bunk my offiCe for 10 days...and go on a busiNess meet iN Mumbai Spending some 30k just to meet Narayan Murthy.

3)He asked me SeriOus QuestiOns.
WiTh hiS sudden death...i Was shattered.
i Was scared...i Was scared as he was one person who proviDed hope. He gave order to my chaotiC thoughts. He asked all of us one very seriOus questiOn

‎"iF today were the last day of my liFe, would i Want to do what i Am about to do today?"


May be i Am too weak to answer thiS questiOn.
May be i Am too weak to even face thiS questiOn.


but whatever iT iS....Answer to the above questiOn iS very clear to me.

i Do whatever i Want to do...whenever i Can afford to do.
He diD whatever he wanted to do...whenever he wanted to do...and wherever he wanted to do.

Death ...the occurrence of the event iS totally random.

He went at 56 ...i Can go at 26, 36 or may be 86.
i'M not sure...when i Leave...but whenever i Do...

i Don't thiNk i Can afford to leave this questiOn answered wiTh a majoriTy of "No".

_______________________________________________________________________

Cheers to a man...who made i  so powerful.
iT's i  that he asks me to beliEve iN.

Cheers to a man ...who liVed.

Kunjum Cafe

There is this cafe in South Delhi ...Kunjum Cafe.

There are quite a few selling points of this CAFE...

To name a few..

1)There is no time limit on how long you sit in the cafe.

2)There is free WIFI in the cafe.

3)Music is really good but if you like to hear something of your choice...just plug in your iPod in the Dock.

4)The person who owns it is a ENGINEER turned MBA Turned JOURNALIST Turned TRAVELLER

5)You can go through a really well compiled collection of Travel books....actually the place is designed 

for strangers to meet and make travel plans.

Apart from these there is one thing that left me puzzled .

THESE GUYS DON'T CHARGE YOU ANYTHING....YOU PAY WHAT YOU LIKE.

I was really puzzled at the business model of this guy...you can have unlimited coffee/tea/cookies and he won't charge you a thing.

But still i tried to see through the psychology he must be working on.

When you are asked to pay whatever you feel like...

you will try to be reasonable enough...and pay atleast equal to what you would have paid at a decent cafe like that...

...as the things are free you won't order but you'll request.

After you have sat for some 1 hour or so...and have had 3 cups of pretty decent coffee...i got up to make the payment.

I went to the guy who served us...i think i was being reasonable enough and i gave him Rs 200.

He refused to take the money and directed me towards a box...in which i had to push the money in.

It was kind of Daan Patra we have in temples.

Anonymity involved in the payment process ....refuted my psychology rationale behind his business model.

A place worth a visit... :)