Choices

If someone was to plot a graph showing the relation between the Activity on your Facebook wall and the events in your life.

I am sure to find some seriously abnormal peaks on my Birthday ... Diwali  also brings a lot of activity along with it and so does a New Year.
(This graph would be similar for SMSs recieved on my cell)

Recently me and my wife celebrated one such event of our lives...and that was our first wedding anniversary.
and as expected my facebook wall starting brimming with wishes .

but there was something unusal about these wishes....they were lesser in comparison to the other events of my life.

No matter how less they were.....I was really really feeling happy for each and every wish i recieved. ...i wanted these wishes to continue.

Not that i don't feel happy when someone wishes me on my b'day or on a diwali or on independence day.
but this was comparitively more deeper...more profound..... more heartfelt.

I could make out this difference and immediately my mind went into analysis mode.
Alrite what was different with my wedding anniversary and the other events of my life.

One thing that was strikingly different for me ...was that my wedding anniversary was a outcome of my efforts.

It was my choice...the day existed because of my efforts and that was what made it more special to me.

It is not true for my bday...may be my parents would feel that happiness but not me.
I think i try to feel happy on my bday as i am supposed to feel happy on my b'day.

Same goes for Diwali....may be God Rama would be happy for all his efforts...but the wishes that i receive on Diwali are i think...more of a expected societal norm rather than a heartfelt wish.

For me Diwali is more of a metaphor and less of  it's historical meaning...and that metaphor holds true through out the year....through every moment and not just one day of the year.

So what's the point i am getting to.

I think the satisfaction that comes after you have made a choice is huge in comparison to something that you have not chosen.

My choices define me..they are a few things that i stood for someday.

Ok let me just summarize a few things that i have chosen and a few that i haven't.

Chosen Few

1. My Life partner.
2. My hobbies.
3. Respecting/Disrespecting Ideas.

Not chosen

1.   My B'day
2.   My name
3.   My gender
4.   My Family
5.   My caste
6.   My country
7.   My language
8.   Respecting Elders/Gods/Country/Religion.
9.   My religion
10.   My festivals
11.   My Places of worship.
12.   The Gods i worship.
13.   The Way i am treated after my death

hmmm.... the items in the  "not chosen " list are way too much than in the chosen list.
but the intensity or the attachment that we are supposed to show towards the items in the second list is huge in comparison to the first list.

Going against anything in the second list is nothing short of blasphemy
and
going in favour of any thing in the first list is more than blasphemy.

This is really confusing ....my personality is a function of very few choices and a lot of non choices.
but  it was my choice that made me happy.

My choices say a lot more about me than do the other non chosen attributes.

So i think ...the focus from here on has to be on the behavior that comes from my choices and not on the behavior that is expected out of me because of the second list.