Amma jiiiiii ......Amma Ji.

If you happen to remember Amma Ji... she is our maid.
It's almost an year that she is working with us.

She is a very God fearing women and religiously visits the temples and the gurudwaras. There are a few beliefs that she dearly holds true and accepts those to be nothing less than the universal truths.(सर्वभौमिक  सत्य )

Those beliefs can not be(absolutely SHOULD not be) questioned by any one at all.
I ,in my utmost innocence somehow happened to stand opposed to her beliefs at a few moments.
What follows are 3 incidents when i had to face the wrath and fury of Amma Ji just for falsifying her universal Truths.

Summers 2010-  Delhi's heat was beating on us and we were almost embarrassed of asking for cold water from our neighours. Not that they refused anytime but still disturbing someone on a Saturday some 20-25 times is shamefully embarrassing in itself.  We (me and Suresh) decided to get a refrigerator the very same day. We got the cash and we had made our research on the Fridge that we wanted to take. We waited for the evening and just when we were about to leave  Amma Ji comes for preparing us our meals.

She complained a bit about the heat and told us something about the electricty cut that they had at their place.
She notices us getting ready and enquired about it.

We tell her that we are getting her a new refrigerator today and she now nomore needs to throw the old sabji or daal.
First expression was "Oh wow!!!! Great...."
Second was  "Oh noooo!!! You fools don't do that."
I asked her about the disapproving expression that she gave.

She said "Aaj mat lo."
Suresh "Kyun amma ji?"
Amma ji "Shaniwaar ko loha nahi lete."
(it was a hindi version of  -- "Bloody Freak  you don't buy freaking Iron on a freaking saturday.")

A moment of silence
and then it was our turn to express.
First Expression "Desperation,Frustration... all synonymous and very close to WTF."
Second expression "A look at each other followed by a I-give-up smile."

The look that she bore suggested that she was in no mood for a discussion and indeed shaniwaar ko loha nahi lete to nahi lete.
Amma Ji 1 We 0. :(

October 2010 - I was just back from office and Amma ji asks about what she should prepare for dinner. she checks the refrigerator - (The same one that we bought  on sunday.) for some vegetables. She tells me that for the next 9 days she won't be using Onion in our food.

On enquiring further she says that "Navratras have started and she doesn't touch Onions in navratras."
This was too much for me and i disagreed to that...may be i would have agreed to her some other day but not after her having her way in that refrigerator incident .
I got rebellious .... Fridge came on sunday and now onions will be used in Navratras.
(It was more of a childish stubbornness then a rational opposition.).

She agreed to it but said that now she needs to change her clothes when she gets back as she can not sit in a Aarti after touching those onions. Irritated i was but in that moment of irritation i tried to restore some rationality ,i asked her to do the Aarti before coming. She agreed to that.  I had my little moment of victory.

Amma Ji 1 We 1. :|

Whenever Amma ji gets angry with us she kind of goes quiet. Not that she will make the food any less tastier but she won't talk to us. You can feel the cold war type tension in the house.

 We were into the third navratra and she arrives for making  breakfast. I had forgot everything about the onions . She asks in her usual way "Beta ji kya banana hai?"
"Paranthe bana do aunty."

Amma ji "Aaloo to hain nahin...."
We had had this kind of discussion earlier also...

I forgot we were in the middle of navratras and i totally forgot we were in middle of a cold war.
I was shaving...and while shaving only ....i went to the kitchen....looked at the tokri and in the most casual and obvious tones suggested   "Aloo nahin hai to Pyaaz Ke Bana do".

She slowly turned towards me fuming.
She felt i was doing this on purpose.
I immediately made out that i have committed a sin and now i shall be punished. 
In all this tension i felt that she was almost about to slap me.

After a few tense moments and a cold silence between us. 
She comes out with this....
"Rab se daro beta ,thoda to daro. Paranthe to main bana deti hun....kam se kam Tuesday ko to Shave na kiya karo."

Amma ji 1000 We 0. :)