Saturday, February 6, 2010

Phone Number

I don't know how many of you dream of having a standing ovation after a speech in front of 2000+ people.
I do....
...and i also know that even if you don't dream of it, you won't mind receiving it.

but this dream has a anti version also ...
What if people just don't get my point?
What if i get Boos ,thumbs downs and a lot of middle fingers?
What if people are giving me the widest possible yawns or
looking at there watches
or seem to be bored to death during my speech?

I fear the anti version a lot and i know i have to keep working on my communication skills to remove Anti from my Dream.

I want to test my comm skills in real world but without feeling any pressure,
I don't want to do it in front of people who would be meeting me frequently.

So i decided i won't try my comm skills with my friends,family members,office colleagues etc..
I know that doesn't leave me with much options to try but story takes a twist here....

I travel quite frequently from Delhi to Chandigarh in Shatabadi Express and it's a 4 hour journey.In this journey you tend to meet a variety of people.Just to categorize you can meet Aunties,Uncles,Girls or Boys.

Now i have to start a communication with whatever category that is sitting with me...
This communication has a lot of benefits like
1)You are going to get real world feedback,it's not like rehearsing in front of the mirror.
2)You don't know the person, even if you bore him and even if he lets you know of your exceptional boring skills.
It would be over in 4 hours and not even a single person would come to know about your fatal comm skills.

Alrite ,now what does one talk in the first meeting and that too without irritating the other guy??
It mostly depends on the person sitting with you.
If you want I have got a few time tested,battle hardened thumb rules for you..

If its a Aunty Ji- Talk about her kids,what do they do ?What class are they in? Tell her how much the children need to study to make it big in life.Tell her how much hardwork you used to put in when you were her children's age.(Make up some huge and scary numbers like 18 hours a day).

If Its Uncle Ji-  Talk about politics or about the deplorable state of India,India according to them is a huge mess and nothing can be done here.They'll tell you about how tough the worldy affairs are and how you need to be strong enough to cope up with this cruel world.

If its a girl -Hmmm..you need to be real careful.Pick some neutral topic like...Baba Raamdev or may be Big Boss .Don't get technical or preachy,it's a big turn off..

If it's a guy...just ignore.(A guy will most of the times debate you to prove you wrong and strive to be the alpha male.So its a time wastage.)

Alrite so now you have some idea of how to initiate the talk,

Try and be genuine in your questions,counter argumnets and the facts that you provide.
When he is all ears and you are sure that he is all yours.... listening to whatever you are saying .
Somehow start the speech that you have prepared for that 2000 plus audience.
Damn the context of what you were talking earlier.Just put in the speech .
Try and engage him for the duration of your narrative.

It should end in 30 minutes or so.
Watch his reaction when you finish...it will tell you how you performed?

If he is awe struck, seems as if he wants to stand up and clap and if he asks for your phone number....

you have done it my friend :).
He'll shake hands totally stunned and give you a thumbs up. You rock.

However if towards the end of the journey he is acting to be sleeping or reading a novel and his body language is pleading you to stop. You didn't rock :(. It was the anti-standing-ovationary response.
In latter case Just rewind and analyse what went wrong? What turned him off?
Don't feel disheartened ......

just try and do well on your way back from Chandigarh to Delhi. :)
Do this religiously to and fro on every trip of yours....

Don't stop till someone asks you for your phone number ....

15 comments:

Rookie said...

few things -
1. A not valid assumption of everyone making tht journey.
2. You ignore the guy, yet in your figure of speech, you quintessentially maintains "HE".
3. You don't get a 2000 audience without having exceptional comm skills.
4. If you somehow manage to get 2000 kinda audience, rest assured, u'r anti dream is baseless, no one does the boos, middle fingers. Bt yes, watching time, yawning does happen depending on the nature of audience and nature of ur talk.
5. I do not harbor such a dream. :P

Gaurav Vashist said...

See i told you ...you have to ignore the guys...desperately desperate to be the Alpha male.

Sanchit said...

man...those anti-dream feelings come up real big while hosting durin hill'ffair...though only sm 1000, its one gud crowd...and if they happen to lend u an ear..boi, thats one moment to live for !!
talking to strangers is a gr88 method...takes real guts to go up and say Hi !!

Vivek Shah said...

A question here:

1. What happens when a person like you meets a person like you and both want to give a speech to each other ?

Gaurav Vashist said...

@Vivek :D Hmmm...Interesting question...Well it is a chance event and occurs only once every 27000 years.

but as we are not sure when did it occur the last time,so it might occur in our next trip.
So i need to answer this one...

See if i get a similar audience seeking guy who is ready to throw his own speech....


1) I'll listen him out and check if he is genuinely passionate about what he is saying.

2)If he is ...I am all ears...as It's always a pleasure to listen to someone who can talk passionately about something he cares about.

You have to just sit there and absorb all the passion/energy that comes with this person.

3)Else If energy is less in his speech,you always have a chance to start with your own. :)

Gaurav Vashist said...

@Sanchit ....
very true bro..Hill Ffair is a good example.I still remember my first stage expeience in 2nd year when i had to sing that Mai ree song.I had a pre script ready and i was just blurting it out...."This one is dedicated to all those whose love is very far from them..." kind of stuff.Seniors were in no mood to listen to that crap and they greeted me with the most beautiful pejoratives.

I felt unreal,i had expected a round of applause but this can't be happening.... :)

By god's grace mai ree was prepared quite well so i saw the dream and the anti dream in the same performance.

But still i think anti dream is the foundation for your dream coming true...it has to start with that. :)

Vivek Shah said...

Nice diplomatic way to answer. I loved the balance of humour and thought in the post. The post needs one correction though.

If its a girl(an ok average looking girl who has a good IQ) go ahead and do whatever you said.

If its a girl(a hot gorgeous one who definitely has a low IQ) cut the crap, get her phone number and enjoy the 4 hours(in whatever way you enjoy :P ) :)

Rakesh Pandit said...

Yeah dreams ... :)

Though offtopic reading this this incident came to my mind:

http://rakesh.gnulinuxcentar.org/?p=14

rock on!

Gaurav Vashist said...

Vivek One word of caution...

Your Miss X and my Miss X1 are on the reading list of this blog.

Don't ask for trouble man.... :D

When you say that if she is gorgeous IQ will be definitely low...

I know... You also meant that Miss X is an exception to the above assumption.

I am not very much sure but X1 surely is an exception :D

Vivek Shah said...

Point taken lock, stock and barrel. You did not too well by conniving with Miss X here. I accept my rule was wrong :(

Isha said...

Nice one
Bro.....now i know y dnt u trvael in volvo nemore and prefer d day time journey of rajdhani :)

Gaurav Vashist said...

Haha Isha...Very true raat me kisi ko apni speech sunaunga ...mar padegi. :P

saurap said...

Good idea bro...

But one prob... Its people like u who r the reason of unnecessary burden on todays kids...

Their moms (auntijies) listen to crap from u people, get the pressure of competetion n pass it on to their innocent kids...

For the sake of those kids, it becomes my duty to kick ur ass the next time we meet...

Also, u r a great joru ka gulam man... Sala galti vivek ne ki, aur clarification tu de raha hai apne Miss X1 ko...

Gaurav Vashist said...

:) hahahaha .....Kids are going to screw me if they come to know that i am the one who has brain washed their mothers.

Baaki yar clarification ki baat nahi hai my miss x1 is surely an exception. :)

saurap said...

hahaha...